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Focus of the Heart

Kathleen • Feb 11, 2020

With a plethora of communication options so close to our finger tips in the world around us…sometimes the most beautiful opportunities may be at risk for being missed. Do you seek to focus toward the HEART aspect of communicating? What does this look like for acquaintances, friends, loved ones, and significant others? There will be a variance in how this plays out in different scenarios…With Valentines Day upon us…Let’s turn our communication FOCUS toward the HEART of the matter…

What does prioritizing a HEART look like when connecting with someone? How is eye contact involved in this? Views toward eye contact or a lack thereof are personal and may be cultural. Are we conveying disinterest, dishonesty, or a lack of connection when we don’t use eye contact? Depending on timing, atmosphere, situation, and the people involved, in general, having a goal of maintaining eye contact when communicating matters. This does not mean a stare or glare. A healthy sense of visual connection has the potential to increase positivity within communication.

Limiting or compartmentalizing distractions whether we have planned for them or not is of benefit. There have been many studies done on this area and one of them shows there is an external distraction to a conversation every 17 seconds. While at times this may help diffuse a scene, the constant barrage of information whether it be technology updates, verbal interruptions, or the weather outside, can get in the way and negatively impact not only the communication at the moment, but the long term healthy habit of communicating well.

Some distractions are internal and relate to the way we are wired. There is another study showing we only recall about 25% of what we hear. With processing speeds differing from person to person…how can we work to listen well and with HEART ? While our brains can hear, understand, and define 125-250 words per minute, it literally thinks 1,000-3,000 words per minute…what role does this play in communication distractions that lead quickly into misunderstandings and misconnections?

How will you work to set aside these inevitable distractions?

Bottom line… How can we SLOW or CALM the process down…Is it possible to regroup and refocus issues that arise both externally and internally to ensure we are being good active listeners? Whether we are the fast or slow processer or somewhere in between…it remains our individual responsibility to slow or calm a situation down, perhaps mindfully take a breath, and make sure we understand the other person, as we seek to ensure their understanding of us as well.

Unfortunately, possibly more often than not, we may not be invested in a conversation to truly listen.  Perhaps we tend to be more focused on a response to the interaction. Our mind may  already be formulating why the other person is wrong…inwardly claiming or feeling to KNOW what their intent or motivation may be. On the other hand…saying what we think the other person wants to hear is not proactive or helpful in pursuing a strong communication connection either.

My husband and I find ourselves using analogies from real life to help us learn and gain from. I am fully aware and understand how to drive a car. The safety measures needed, as well as the skills to start it, follow road signs, and traffic signals are all second nature. No matter how practiced I am at driving, as I pull onto a certain roadway, I have no way of knowing precisely what will be coming my way or what circumstance to expect at any given time. There are numerous factors for which a driver will have no control over; other drivers, weather, traffic, etc. My skills in driving matter to navigate both the expected and unexpected, and I must have them properly in order to have the best outcomes. This is also true in the realm of communication. We won’t always know or be readily aware of the story, background, or defining aspects of those we are communicating with. However, if we enter scenarios equipped and prepared with a HEART ful approach, we have a better chance of experiencing the best outcome possible!

Let’s be proactive…rather than reactive. Stick with your beliefs, but be flexible. TRYING matters and EFFORT counts…The “we” piece of the communication endeavor adds benefit which may pay dividends forever. Exceed what your “personality” limits you to and extend with empathy and relatability!

Listening with open ears helps to show
How to help someone else find their glow

Have you noticed the center of the word HEART is EAR ?
When you listen with your HEART you will readily HEAR …

What is truly at the center of your loved ones HEART
 Make this happen…Love and Listen well…don’t depart

Happiest of HEART days to all…

© Kathleen Bauer, Ed D 2020

The post Focus of the Heart appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning.

In Honor of SEL Day… March 11th

By Loving Lifelong Learning • 11 Mar, 2024
By now in your journey… regardless of age or stage, you have most likely heard the term “SEL” or Social Emotional Learning. But what does it really and truly imply? SEL is a detailed and multi-faceted process through which we function by; understanding and managing emotions, making plans and striving to achieve goals, feeling and expressing empathy and thought for others, establishing and maintaining positive and healthy relationships, and displaying responsibility in decision making. Extending far beyond personal feelings, SEL is an ongoing process of merging what one knows to be true in a situation and then implementing appropriate skills and actions to direct and take the next steps and so on. SEL skills do need to be taught and practiced, lived out. Similar to other natural bents, some individuals are inclined and wired more instinctively to implement effective SEL competencies into real life situations. When prioritizing SEL in life, components of EQ or Emotional Intelligence will undoubtedly rise up. Possessing qualities of emotional intelligence will lead us to face life and the inevitable crisis points with lower stress levels and fewer overreactions. Self and social-awareness and management of self and relationships are the focus. Maintaining self-awareness and accepting one’s own capabilities and limitations leads to a strong foundation for being impactful in achieving success in self-help and growth, benefiting those around us, and fostering an overall sense of peace and happiness. Effectively navigating through life, an abundance of situations offer opportunity. Opportunity to lead even when it is not the title given to you, opportunity to stay quiet when you desperately yearn to set the record straight or prove your point, opportunity to speak up when you feel emotionally and physically tongue tied. We all have had and will continue to have growth experiences in the realm of Social Emotional Learning and its implementation. Are you able to articulate benefits you have gained thus far from seeking to learn and integrate SEL into your own life? Will you be willing to probe deeper? When have you struggled to implement SEL? Truth be known, we’ve all been there right? In the midst of an unbelievable conflict, one we may not have seen coming and could never have imagined…what happens in that moment? Seek to find commonalities of life experiences, both positive and negative, build on them well with a hope to acquire fresh skills, and hone in on the “important” and lasting impacts. After this…take the risk to make needful life, heart, and soul adjustments…This is an ongoing, thought provoking and HONEST process…Go for it! What are the differences in our emotional stances which may lead us to pursue better comprehension of our own heart and mind, embracing another person’s situation, and then demonstrating an appropriate and respectful demeanor amidst chaos and edginess that in the moment feels impossible to navigate through? Bottom line question…Where are you in your journey? It is not ever too late to learn Find a way to take a fresh turn Many talk about being well-rounded Consider options to keep you grounded In strength manage yourself and understand Impact for good no matter where you land With courage, confidence, and initiative Challenge yourself to live appreciative Embracing self and others mind and soul Making a plan to achieve the next goal Take each deliberate step abandoning haste Not one experience will you want to waste When called upon to sympathize Willingly take the risk to empathize Even with limitations and a lack of access Trust and wait and believe in the process Mindfully journeying leads to a continuum of health Social Emotional Learning offers heart and soul wealth © 2024 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her husband B Add into this conversation by sharing personal experiences & scenarios!

Life is a Puzzle

By Loving Lifelong Learning • 30 Jan, 2024
January 29  th is NATIONAL PUZZLE DAY…This is truly what they say! This may be overstated at times, but oh so true. Doesn’t LIFE feel like an ENORMOUS puzzle to untangle or solve? Do you feel like you are relentlessly on guard to cover, work through, need to solve or figure a whole lot of somethings and happenings out?? Are you concerned in the here and now and are not all the way sure how to get through just for today? Relating to good friends, acquaintances, coworkers, or even family members or siblings might feel puzzling and filled with emotions which need to be navigated through to put into place. Our interactions with others and many relationships oftentimes cause us to wonder if what we are doing, saying or how we are being matters. And then we continue to ponder more and find ourselves on a wondering jaunt, maybe even a bit puzzled as we are seeking ways out of how we might find the best way to work out of or hopefully work well to get through the current MAZE before us. Perhaps in this puzzling life…we will all benefit from some tried and true thoughts toward demystifying the discombobulation which feels looming and foggy. Staying active and aware of mindful living both physically and mentally matters. Cognitive clarity is a vital component to life and living. When we endeavor forward in a variety of activities we are naturally energized. Engaging in conversation, thinking activities, reading aloud and quietly, along with completing puzzles are all pieces which help us keep vitalized and refresh on this journey we call life. Resiliency is seizing opportunities to enhance and multiply existing strength. Are you resilient? Implementing mindfully rich activities refreshes and offers a boost assisting us in building upon our fortes while simultaneously challenging areas which could benefit from growth. Operating with a mindset of extending flexibility and grace helps us connect to others and offers an internal positivity enhancement. A sense of belonging is a beautiful thing, so go for it! As you dabble forward and seek to make sense out of the happenings from your own life and times puzzle… Stand strong to end the first month of this new year well…ready to carry forward...and learn or attempt something new…You just may find refreshment on the way. Exercise your lifelong learning capabilities and find some sort of PUZZLE to engage in, perhaps a recipe to try or tweak and GO FOR IT! Join the conversation here by adding in on what YOUR most challenging life puzzle is…or share something you’ve tried to learn and part of the journey you traversed in doing so… Puzzling through life Causes joy and strife With focus resilience and grit Work your way out of the pit From a maze to an acrostic or a word search Some situations threaten to leave us in a lurch The power of a puzzle… Does it feel like a muzzle? Or will you work life’s puzzles and seek to solve Finding meaningful teachable moments to resolve… In some ways all lives are a puzzle to be seen and loudly heard Other days so much action takes place without a spoken word Whatever the season However you reason May your life puzzle come together in spite of the suspense Mindfully leading your heart and soul to help it make sense © 2024 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her husband B For extended inspiration…check out these links! https://blog.tcea.org/five-crossword-puzzle-makers/?utm_source=TCEA+Emails&utm_campaign=6bf24803e6 RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f3a5bb651e-6bf24803e6 68333575&ct=t(RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN)&mc_cid=6bf24803e6&mc_eid=00c98f8b07 https://blog.tcea.org/happy-national-puzzle-day/

Unraveling Life's Tangles: A Journey of Inspiration, Balance, and Renewed Vigor

By Loving Lifelong Learning • 18 Jan, 2024
Recently…in the midst of navigating the regular chaos of life, seeking to process the international distress, and intentionally taking time for mindful conversations, I have been INSPIRED! Inspired by caring individuals who are questioning life as well. Motivated to find the good, because it is there. Refreshed to continue doing so many tasks I LOVE. Seeking to achieve balance. Why do we assume every piece of life has been easy? Quite frankly, it feels tangled! Not long ago, I was in the process of working with my hair, yes my hair. The set-up is amazing, including heavy duty durable outlets in a hidden cabinet and space for all of the necessary equipment to take care of my “aging” hair. This system works well, has for quite some time, keeps the bathroom tidy and is typically maneuverable. One specific day it became super complicated…oh no…all of those times I was hurrying, avoiding keeping things in order, came to haunt me with the TANGLING of much more than the 2 cords it had begun with. YIKES! I had a huge mess, was in a frantic hurry and just kept pulling and pulling and pulling. Disconnection happened. Finally, since I was unable to make use of any of the products or hair care pieces due to the invasion of the tangled mess; I stopped… Knelt down… Took a big breath… Decided to devote the necessary effort and time to regroup this area… Ahhhhhhhhh it all came back together, operating as it needed to be and soon there was no evidence of a tangle at all. In this moment I found myself, mind wondering and wishing situations in life could be ever so easy to untangle. And even more strongly, hoping I would recognize needs immediately and find a way to intentionally untangle every “ISSUE” with greater efficiency. Life does not always go as planned. Sadness looms, loved ones in my circle are fighting for their lives, light bulbs burn out, chaos prevails, calm seems to be only an unreachable dream, and happiness a mere wish. However, in the midst of all of this, let us aim to remember…Balance is key, questions are okay, and yes life is filled with an array of tangles. So…what are we to do now? I certainly don’t have exact answers…but maybe we can quest forward with renewed vigor to: Redefine balance as a goal & accept uneven terrain through the process. Perhaps find and opt for another lens to view through. Ponder living in a state of Being amidst all of the Doing. Consider whether lovingkindness is a filter for which you function. And…What about dedicating some time right now to untangling something and making TODAY your BEST DAY EVER?! Is this possible? What if we all prioritize maintaining the TANGLES by rebooting, refreshing, and reviving? And possibly attempt to approach these tasks and TANGLES as gifts to unwrap? Endeavoring to see all situations and individuals as filled with potential, and focusing on the good, the beauty, and the best, which is yet to come…WOW! Well…wouldn’t that be WONDERUL?! On the journey Life feels heavy Take the time to realize Good is there to recognize Inspiration is possible Motivation is do-able Working well through pain Feels as if there is no gain Refresh your systems to reboot & flow Embracing the next season might show The beautiful and best Even when put to test Comes through Surprising you Take a look and smile Be engaged for awhile Learning and leaning into the navigatable Living and loving through the inevitable Somehow some way Things will all be okay… Love and learn to gain and grow Others might be inspired to glow © 2024 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her husband B
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