5 LOVE Language Wrap up

Kathleen • December 4, 2020

As we head into another Holiday season or rather are already IMMERSED into another one…are you ready to practice offering your Presence versus leaving it to all kinds of meaningless Presents ??? There is no ONE SIZE FITS ALL…or a shape fitting every situation as everyone needs ALL five types of LOVE…Everyone benefits from giving and receiving ALL varieties of being loved and adored…cherished and treasured.

WORDS of affirmation folks…need to hear assuring, uplifting, and loving words often and regularly…and LOTS OF THEM!!!

TIP: Remember for WORDS of Affirmation bents…no news is not good news to these people, and empty words hurt more than they help.

Quality TIME ers will benefit from seeking to find JOY in the moments together even if they feel abbreviated…Maximize on the quality even when more quantity is hoped for.

TIP: Quality TIME can be Quality Conversations and/or Quality Activities… TIME together matters !

Acts of SERVICE is helping another practically and with a cheerful attitude! It is taking a To Do item off their list, or doing something they are not good at or perhaps struggle with.

TIP: If someone in your life is an Acts of SERVICE bent, ask for and collect a practical list of what you can do to help around the house, the office…and then stay consistent in keeping up with the list!!!

Physical TOUCH folks LOVE…a handshake, pat on the shoulder or hug from a close friend, it means the world to them…these people are DYING with how COVID has impacted touch.

TIP: For Physical TOUCH , allow the other person to coach you on what kind of touch is filling versus costing. AND always be aware of the motive touch is initiated with.

Tangible GIFTS are FUN, offer happiness, and can be very meaningful… Remember it is the thought that counts…you were thinking of THEM with the gift…

TIP: For GIFTS …Always seek to invest and give with an open hand and heart.

Keeping in mind, already some very non-traditional, masked, and socially distancing events have happened and will continue to take place this season. There is no one way street on the path of fostering, developing, and enjoying healthy relationships…there are numerous avenues and aspects to pursue. We are hopeful you have taken some nuggets away of this most recent sharing and feel more equipped to GO FOR IT in newly refreshed ways!

WHAT better time to pursue others and our view of relationships than the holidays!!?

Our capacities vary and various seasons of life offer new obstacles and challenges in regard to embracing and understanding others around us…They may even open up and refreshen your world of relating to others. Remember, implementation of the 5 Love Language approach may not be quick or natural for you personally, but is obtainable!!

TIP: Sometimes we can zero in on what someone’s top Love Languages may be by listening to their requests, desires or…at times, complaints…

BIG TIP: You will often find your top two Love Languages may differ from your significant other, best friend, siblings, etc… It is not uncommon for one to be drawn to or connect with someone who has a different Love Language priority list. On one hand this can offer balance in life and loving others, on the other hand it can cause potential conflict and loneliness…since we all tend to fall back on seeking to love others the way we feel loved. While it is a noble effort to love well, realizing someone else may resonate with being loved differently can transform relationships!

TIP: There are times you can intertwine two love languages such as: raking leaves together (Service/Time), complimenting someone while holding their hand (Words/Touch), watching a movie while snuggling on the couch (Time/Touch), maybe sharing a photo or short video clip of a GIFT being enjoyed encompassing…(Time/Service/Gifts/Words)!!

TIP: There will be life situations where someone may need more of a particular Love Language than normal or usual, and it might not even be their typical #1 or #2. Example: often the need for Touch increases when someone experiences a death.

TIP: Be aware of your blind spots…your #3, #4 and #5 Love Languages. We GUARANTEE you have people in your life with these needs…fulfilling these love needs are NOT a waste of time, they will be a stretch, but worth the investment in the relationship!!!

TIP: If TIME is your #4 Love Language, but it is your significant others #1…and they keep trying to love you with TIME …learn to accept it as a gift and as their way to deeply and personally connect with you!! Possibly… view it this way …Oftentimes, we coach young children to say “Thank You” when gifts are given, whether they were requested, anticipated, or even wanted. Results may vary but FRESH JOY has often been experienced unexpectedly!

The problem is not that we are unloved; the problem is that we have a limited view of love’s expression. We need to broaden our views. We will benefit from questing to improve our LOVESIGHT !  Let’s move forward embracing rather than overlooking the subtle, creative, unique ways love comes to us and in turn learn we are able to offer meaningful “love” in a plethora of ways.

As ALWAYS…we welcome YOUR THOUGHTs and CONVERSATION!!

Express desire versus demand
Connections do not command

Allow heart, mind, and soul to unify
With loved ones seek peace and apply

Quest to live and love well
Mindfully your story to tell

Whatever WORDS you choose to say
Thoughtfully lift a heart come what may

Will you take TIME to extend beyond schedules and yourself
SERVING in relationships offering more than your back shelf?

GIFTS and TOUCH are powerful and can be a detriment
Thoughtfully and wisely consider when you implement

Working in tandem is the key
For balancing out you and me

Aspire to be an authentic version of YOU
Find wholeness and health in all you DO

WORDS or SERVICE , TOUCH , TIME , and tangible GIFTS
Offer practical happy ways to give hearts surges of lifts

We all need love and concern and care
How will you communicate and share?

Thoughtfully lift a soul come what may
Seeking to show your love in many a way!

© 2020 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D

Alongside her husband B

By Loving Lifelong Learning June 16, 2025
While some are already reveling in the respite of a summer break, very shortly, summer will truly be upon us and in full swing. Before we get all the immersed into summer adventures…I am compelled to reflect upon a “springing into summer” adventure we enjoyed in the MOUNTAINs! Earlier in spring, Brian and I were scheduled to be in Boulder, Colorado…Both of us had an array of items to complete while there and as we worked on our professional lives much of the time, we did take moments to experience the glorious beauty of the surrounding mountains. We participated in one of our favorite activities which is receiving FRESH AIR THERAPY! So, for personal development as we endeavored several “trails” and sought to thrive, we found ourselves at times acclimating well with measured breaths and strong endurance. There were other instances when the altitude seemed to be getting the best of us, and we were feeling so incredibly “old” and “out of shape” …YIKES! This up and down pattern served us up a few life reminders… GRIT matters. KEEP putting one foot in front of the other even when you cannot see the outcome or where the path is leading now. The WORK and exercises we do as a part of our life habits continues to be meaningful. It offered stamina on each trail we attempted and conquered. In LIFE , we oftentimes feel we are not “there” but when we persevere on, we are indeed headed forward. Keep GOING! The VIEW at every stage had more to explore than we could have imagined. There were twists, turns, times to sidestep, and valued seconds of stopping to enjoy and breathe it all in. Along with this came the inevitably unexpected, another hill to climb with more rock paths to maneuver through, and then we would turn another corner and keep going on and up toward the destination. From the Flat Iron paths to the trails through the red rocks. For the Royal Arch victory and the Mount Sanitas Trail after a steep Mapleton Avenue walk…we were stretched, found peace, wished for better core support, (smile), yet discovered more than we could take in while finding fulfillment and purpose in the complex yet simple journey. Similarly, situations around us might not be clear or understandable in life, but these mountainous experiences reminded us we must keep doing our trek. Today…we are where we are. How we have done life up to this point counts and carries lessons we may or may not be aware of. However, we must effort to remain present in each moment. So…what changes will you be willing to adjust for your life? What are you doing well? How can or will you choose to navigate each “trail” “hill” “trek” or “hike” of life and to do it well? Much to ponder… Perhaps you’ve been thrust into mountains of emotions to traverse, hills of pain to climb, or rocky relationships to navigate. Maybe the economy, your job situation or the health of yourself or loved ones feels tumultuous. Possibly you have endured a betrayal and rejection of those counted as friends…life happens doesn’t it? Moments of emotion will surface…Are you equipped to move through the climb? Gear up! May we find and embrace a sense of satisfaction despite the pain and do so with sprinkles of happiness. With courage, confidence and perseverance, we can lean in and stay healthy on this journey we call LIFE! Whatever path you choose Allow it to ignite and infuse Walk on with peace Find sweet release Success in the climb Viewing the sublime Keep calm and stay assured Even when the path is blurred Love without hurry Embrace no scurry Refrain from the fitful When seeking restful Always a season for each Soon again a time of reach For now, bask in tranquility With joy in your fresh ability To be strong Move along As you desire to retain And want to maintain Allow space for the unexpected Believing you are still protected Life mountains might indeed look to be in the way May we navigate well and on our BEST path stay  This we CAN do As life we go thru! © 2025 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her hiking partner B
By Loving Lifelong Learning May 30, 2025
We often hear phrases such as things are not always as they appear, or just wait, be patient, the truth will come out, and maybe even…trust the PROCESS…trust THE process…TRUST the process…Hmmmmmm much easier stated than lived out. So seemingly unpredictable. And then let’s consider the WEATHER. At times we are hard pressed to find a consistent pattern…Some winter days feel like spring, spring days like summer and so on…Spring is typically the time for planting and new growth…and while we long for spring and refreshment we end up hearing tornado sirens and high winds blowing and then…trees are cracked, branches and leaves are strewn, some buildings and even precious homes damaged. And then again…we are called to remember….things are just not always as they appear or how we wish they would appear. Recently, I found another 4 leaf clover. Those who know me well understand this propensity has been lifelong. Ever since I can remember, I would be drawn to a clover patch and many times there would be a 4 leaf clover, just waiting to be picked…People often say, “FAITH HOPE LOVE & LUCK when they think of a 4 leaf clover. While there are various stances on 4 leaf clovers, how common or not, why they exist, the frequency for which one might find one…the fact is, I’ve been prone to discover them throughout the years. So…while I’m not sure why, it is a fact and my tendency is to find 4 leaf clovers. Loaded with fun, great conversation, a dedication to the one I’m speaking to or out with when the discovery is made, these clovers have brought many smiles, energizing surprises, good thoughts and sparked numerous interactions and conversations through the years. Regarding the 3rd one of this season, and there have been several since then, it was sweet, tiny, fully 4 leaves, yet shriveled very quickly. Along with this find, came the life reminder that so many things, situations, happenings in life can be temporary and are at times real but truly not as they appear. If one looked at the little clover just 30 minutes after the find, it did not look the same. And…especially this time I should have snapped the photo immediately! There have been several since, another tattered one, an uneven one, a speckled one, even a butterfly shaped 4 leaf clover and one found on a particularly tough evening. This reminder of things not always being what they appear has been so timely. The path feels long and at moments impossible right? A nudge to recall might need to be reframed and turned into a pull back or a redirect. Assessing a situation from a different view and choosing to refrain from getting stuck on what “should be” and letting what is unfold…might be the best path choice. Growing on from there may include a challenge but oftentimes this is needful to do. And to do so while simultaneously strengthening our emotional stamina can be powerful. At times I believe we are inclined to long for “linear” and for everything to be set directly into place and stay on track with a specific frame we hold onto as hope. When we realize our journeys become shaped and better informed by our sadnesses and celebrations as well as our surprises and the mundane, we are better equipped to learn and lead by example and share forward helping our world to become better and stronger, one heart at a time. And whether it feels comfortable or not, and regardless of how linear the process may seem as we are trudging through, we simply cannot see what is not there. As we soar through spring, rites of passages via graduations or milestone events which inevitably occur, let us enjoy each moment for what it is, embrace life with goodness and grace and remember, just because something looks one way now, it can and will most likely change. Are you willing to rearrange? Grow? Settle in? Reach for different? Regrouping and resetting may be on deck so let us lean forward accepting FAITH HOPE LOVE along with a sprinkle of LUCK or CHANCE…and make all our spaces better with our time, treasure, heart soul and being! Things are not always as they appear Diligently try not to live within fear Will you choose grace And gently embrace? Faith to fill Hope to still Love to lead your circumstance Embracing good luck and chance Allow a spontaneous surprise To enlighten your mind’s eyes Engage with your all Pursuing the life call To be and show What you know Each and every day In so many a way The path might be long But keep moving along When put to the test Live to impart your best And remember…in all you do You can and will get through! © 2025 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her husband B
By Loving Lifelong Learning July 16, 2024
CHRISTMAS in JULY?!?! What? Recently, after being at the STL Soccer game and watching the effort by our CITY team, Brian and I were headed home and listening to the KMOX broadcast of the Cardinal game. We barely made it in the house to turn on the TV and watch the Cardinals WIN! It was their second VICTORY of the DAY! At some point during the 9th inning while we were doing this, I noticed a phrase at the bottom of our screen…It read, “ CHRISTMAS in JULY”! Immediately…this phrase jettisons me back to yesteryear; watching the Venture, K-Mart and Famous-Barr (your Christmas ANGEL store…!) ads as child. It never felt all the way right when the sales would begin describing Christmas and Winter Holidays when we were anticipating fireworks displays, heading to the pool, playing kickball in the yard, and collecting fireflies. Ahhhhhh CHRISTMAS in JULY! To me, these words, CHRISTMAS in JULY, stir up music in my heart, mind and soul. While we do not feel ready for the Holiday Season to embark on us at this very minute, Brian and I LOVE the thought of CELEBRATION, FAMILY, FUN, & LOVE! Do you? What brings music to your ears? How does your heart experience an extra surge of happy beats? Is it a beautiful display of fireworks like many have taken in lately? Is it the laughter of children in the neighborhood playing? Perhaps it is an array of special people in your life or maybe even some important memories of days gone by. Throughout July, maybe we take some time to reflect on what has been and what is yet to come by the time we will be making it through another calendar year. Has any event or happening resonated deeply with you? Among our summer favorites, we have integrated some small house and yard projects, sought to carve new paths within our daily work, intentionally focused upon being “there” for some, and have centered in on embracing the unpredicted events and opportunities we have been offered. So, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, as you head to local sporting events, enjoy a favorite cool summer treat with those you love or simply enjoy the longer daylight hours of summer with taking just one more walk through the neighborhood, try to find moments to savor and embrace all of the beautiful; past, present and yet to come. Do you find yourself already anticipating another holiday to come? Try not to resist or overlook the potential adventures awaiting in the here and nearly NOW! And, just sayin’…the ULTIMATE Christmas in July for US this year? Well, it is fast approaching as we anticipate the arrival of some of our dear extended family dropping in for a visit very soon…the elements of surprise and joy and new memories to make loom sure. To us, this is simply the BEST & that’s a WINNER! Through the years Amidst life’s fears Whether it is in December or July Or any other month, time flies by From then & onto now A heart surge & WOW Perspective matters Amidst life shatters Whoever you are with & whatever you do Delight in each & every moment…be TRUE Memories & photos galore Of those we so much adore At the Grand Hotel Our hearts did swell From Ted Drewes to CITY & Cardinal Nation Our people are with us in fresh anticipation For the unexpected to be yet lead the way As newfound memories are formed today Stirring arrays of enlightened emotion Amidst loved ones and the commotion Seek for reasons to celebrate Letting JOY & PEACE infiltrate Always find memories of days gone away By looking ahead to walk into another day More than research or reflection Relationships deserve protection As with a sundae topped with whipped cream & a cherry Lean into and embrace every moment and do not tarry Cherish the treasures of life and good all year long Clean out spiff up and with possibility move along With agility finding our best attitude Coloring every bit of life in gratitude Lean into the BEAUTY-FULL Embrace the WONDER-FULL As always we invite you to the party of reminiscing, celebrating or sharing…your thoughts are welcome…so join the conversation. © 2024 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her husband B 
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