Relationships…How are YOU Walking
Relationships…How are YOU Walking??
We are well into Fall 2020…More unexpected has inevitably happened, the continuation of our unprecedented or shall we say extraordinary times marches forward…
This unique season of life circled by a pandemic with continued and cautious reopening of places and activities, an upcoming election, along with regular life issues and scenarios assures us of one truth…life is unpredictable.
As time carries on and we seek to put one foot in front of the other and keep things together…How are you coping? Are you walking well? At times this has been framed as “trusting the current process to unfold” or doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do.
Our actions are heard and noticed whether we are aware or not…A question comes to mind about relating to others…Please take a brief pause to ponder… What is the single most impactful way to do life, nurture relationships, and connect appropriately with those around us??
This series will continue to share writings offering ideas of implementation into relationships of all types. Are you able to imagine self-alignment and productivity within and throughout your relationships? Mark Twain challenged us to view whatever we look at in life to influence our next steps stating, “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”
As you know, my husband Brian is a therapist and shares a passion of refining relational endeavors…Be encouraged as the next excerpt is a concept he readily adapts to a myriad of situations in his personal life and practice.
Have you ever thought about the significance of looking at your feet? Why would anyone want to look at their feet? Maybe it is a way to remember where you are…WHAT?!?!?! Perhaps it is a way to be mindfully present in the here and now. A reminder to stop focusing on the past and stop over-worrying about the future. When we immerse into the past or the future too much, we forget where we are…the here and now. Being present with our presence. See Pic #1
When we linger in the past we are prone to get depressed…filled with shame and regret. We go through all of the “what if’s”. “Woulda Coulda Shoulda” thinking just leads to sadness and ruminating thoughts of negativity. This is actually NOT a good way to process through the past…NOT accurate. It is more like a cow chewing it’s cud…re-living the negative over and over and over again…leading to MORE negativity. It is true we can learn from the past for today and going forward…the ultimate GOAL… too many find themselves rolling in the negative slop in their minds like a pig on a hot summer day…See Pic #2
Looking to the future and over conceptualizing leads to being anxious. The fear of the unknown. Running through our mind are the million versions of what may happen, what could happen and we typically land on the most negative options in these moments forgetting solid positive options…why? When looking at the whole picture of evidence, many of the negative versions rarely happen. So why do we keep circling back to the negative forecasting of dreariness and clouds regarding career, life, and relationships? See Pic #3
We usually put 95% of our energy toward the past or future…some focus on the past more, others more on the future…many focus on a combination of both past and future leaving the present moment out. Placing about 95% of our thoughtful efforts into what we CANNOT change, the PAST and FUTURE is not a helpful or hopeful place to land. When we do this we often end up distorting the truth about what is going on in the here and now…negatively impacting memories of the past or hope of future outcomes. Using the lens of the past/future to interpret the here and now…leaves us confused and empty. See Pic #4
What would happen if we put that 95% of our energy toward NOW?!?!?!?!? This could be a step in the right direction for a healthy impact in positive and lasting change. When you find yourself trapped to the past or freaking out about the future, or possibly both…remember to mindfully LOOK AT YOUR FEET! See Pic #5
God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I CANNOT change, the courage to change the things I CAN, and the wisdom to know the difference.
What can you do NOW, TODAY to make a difference in your life or someone around you??? Go for it!
For self and others advocate
A truer heart you will locate
Mindfully do your BEST
When put to life’s test
Of being, loving, and living well
While your story walks on to tell
Is it possible to walk, love, embrace, and live well on this journey? I want to answer with a RESOUNDING YES!!! Will you do the same? Feel free to join the discussion!
© 2020 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her husband B 🙂