5 Love Languages WORDS

 In Loving Lifelong Learning

Grappling forward in relationships happens…but it is the HOW we grapple that matters most.

As we continue forward in this relationship series on the 5 Love Languages… Remember, we all need to be loved in all 5 ways but inevitably, there will be a couple that resonate stronger and deeper than the others.

Knowing ourselves and maintaining awareness of our own preferences of expressed love first and then as we reach out to others, we are better equipped to be loved and love forward. Discovering your own top 2 “languages”, as well as understanding those around you matters.

Security in realizing who we are and how we function best in the realm of loving and being loved is paramount to relationships. It holds power to lead us forward in loving others around us well.

This piece will focus on #1 Words of Affirmation:

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…do you ever hear words, reports, newsfeeds, significant others going on and on and on and on and on??? Are the words too much for you at times?? There are some wirings and natural bents who not only need words…but feel near breaking point when they are not offered a solid and consistent array of words…

More than a quick shrug or nod…these people need to be pumped up with words…however…artificial or going through the motion words will not work either, making the offering of the gift of words complicated at times.

Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” This statement is especially true to the person whose love language is WORDS of Affirmation. They live and blossom by loving words but they also die quickly when they are not receiving affirming words or when they are hearing ugly and degrading words.

Lyrics from a simple song I learned in middle school resonate strongly even to this day when I look toward words and how we use or gift them…for better or worse. “The tongue…the tongue…the trouble is my tongue…it keeps me talking double and it gets me deep in trouble…the tongue the tongue…the TROUBLE is my tongue.”

It is vital for this love language to hear affirming, uplifting, and loving words often and REGULARLY.

This looks like:

  • Verbal compliments – complimenting


“Your insight is very helpful.”

  • Words of appreciation – specific

“The dinner was fabulous, especially the chicken dish, so moist.”

  • Encouraging words – cheerleading

“Woo Hoo! The work you did on this project, wow…Thank YOU!”

  • Kind words – tone

Be sure these words are empathetic and caring, use eye contact.

  • Humble words – Love requests does not demand

“Your part in this endeavor made all the difference, we needed your input.”


True and personal words matter in the home, at the store, one-on-one, in a group…when we are frustrated, when we are happy…

True we need to make excellent choices, but where does your main energy focus? How do you aspire to love well?

Prioritizing the IMPORTANT??

We all need to love and be loved in a variety of ways…however, there are natural ways certain personalities and wirings will gravitate toward needing and desiring…

Take the KIND WORD challenge and try to begin noticing which of those people around you NEED to be LIFTED up by your TRUE words of encouragement…

Express desire versus demand
Connections do not command

Allow heart, mind, and soul to unify
With loved ones seek peace and apply

Quest to live and love well
Mindfully your story to tell

Whatever WORDS you choose to say
Thoughtfully lift a heart come what may

© 2020 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D

Alongside her husband B 🙂